My Journey Part 6: A Cry In The Darkness!

Having dispensed with the shiney object in the sky after realizing it was actually a full moon, my attention was drawn to a far more serious situation: There was an entity of some sort in the bushes near a clump of trees: It had what seemed to be a human form - arms, legs, head - but there was definitely a difference; it was covered with hair and had large pointy ears!
I slowly backed away - for a better view, of course - and promptly stepped on a sleeping porcupine. When the squealing subsided(mine, not the porcupine's), I resumed my watch, but the being had disappeared. My deductive juices were flowing now and my years as a trained paranormal investigation theorist came to bear. The first thing I did was carefully detail what I had just seen with my crayons. The memory was still vividly fresh in my mind:

There were several possible explanations for this phenomenon: It may have been a bear but this is highly unlikely since bears do not possess the power of invisibility. I happen to have spent a lot of time with bears(they make great sausage) and this particular being did not leave an ursine impression. Another possibility was yet another Sasquatch sighting. I am personally peeved at these hirsute hooligans who just peep out of the woods now and again and never come close enough for experts like me to evaluate and analyze them! It is well known in my circles that all the cryptozoological theories about these so-called "bigfoots" ia all wet. The reason they can't find any evidence of Sasquatch communities, artifacts and such is so obvious an embryo could see it - if it's eyes were fully formed.

Sasquatches are extra terrestrial beings from an ice planet, or possibly one of the frozen moons of Jupiter or Saturn. They are seen mostly in the north because it's colder. I know this escapes most people but remember, I am a paranormal investigation theorist!

The first thing you do if you're serious about Sasquatches is look for their Starship, then you can trail them properly. The reason we sat up high on our Sasquatch pole back in Angus Hat was for that very reason. I decided to set a trap for my furry friend, but what could I use?

My years of training served me again as I designed a foolproof snare:

I carefully dug a small shallow pit next to the tree nearest to where my vaporific visitor was last seen. Then I fashioned a club out of a thick sapling. With measured deliberation I placed a sausage from my bag two inches from the center of the shallow pit. I made a weave of pine and spruce twigs for my head and hid behind the tree. Camouflaged as I was, I lay in wait for the cryptic creature. My Plan?

After a lifetime of sausage making I know what attracts Sasquatches; Certain that it would go for the sausage, I would only need to jump out from behind the tree and bash it into submission.

Day slowly turned to night. I started to doze off but was suddenly brought to attention by some rustling in the bush. I saw a hairy hand reach for the sausage and I jumped into action! I swung my paranormal investigation club right at it's head and it went down in a heap! I finally had physical evidence!

I turned the now groggy beast over and heard a faint gurgling voice say what sounded like....Blitz?

(to be continued)