Hello Blitz,
I find your energy and dedication inspiring! I wish there were more people like you. If more people did as you do, we could rid the world of Alien Cow Mutilators(ACMs)! I am so sick and tired of these extra-terrestrial-slicer- and-dicers ruining my appetite as I try to get through the day without putting my fist through a cardboard box or other easy to crush objects! I mean, what gives them the right to arbitrarily pick and choose parts of our bovine brothers and sisters? Can't they find some other planet to harass? I know that underneath the surface of Mars, the locals have cattle that they have domesticated for their milk and meat. Granted, they are only two martian inches long(about seven eighths of a centimeter) and could be harder to cut into but from what I've seen on TV, Aliens aren't very large anyway. The very large creatures are usually found on earth, encased in ice at either pole, waiting for a thermonuclear explosion to release them for massive misunderstood mayhem. Do you see what I'm getting at?
Thank you for your attention,
Armen Campfirer
My hats off to you (the plural is intended) Armen, for you are the type of person most necessary in our struggle to get the word out concerning the pernicious proliferation of profligation so prevalent on our planet. You're probably wondering what I mean by that statement and that in itself is a noble endeavor!
I agree that the ACMs have overdone their perverse interest in our cattle and it's time they stopped - or we stopped them. If any ACMs are reading this (I know for a fact that they are!), let me suggest our local abbatoire "Lund's Slaughterhouse and Laundromat" just a few miles outside of Angus Hat. Old Ollie will gladly hand over any cow parts you may be interested in!
As you can see, even though I am a trained Paranormal Investigation Theorist, I'm all about solutions!
Blitz out.
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