As mentioned in my previous entry, I ran headlong into a pitch black aperture beneath a large growth of trees to escape the dark entity that was right on my heels! (I have included one of my crayon sketches which will bring this story to vivid life for you, dear reader) The cave was deep and long enough to soften my fall as I landed in a heap on a pile of dead leaves, twigs and some young badgers. As the critters scurried off in all directions, I stood up and promptly banged my head on a large tree root. This seemed to have done me some good - a bracer, if you will, to refresh me after my ordeal.Upon reflection I then realized that my pursuer was none other than my own shadow, a consequence of walking straight towards the sun. I chuckled quietly to myself so as not to disturb the badgers that were already cowering in the far corner of the cave. How foolish of me, to fear my own shadow! It was then that mama badger jumped me. We rolled on the cave floor as I held her claws as far from my face as possible until her anger seemed to subside.
Then, softly and serenely, she looked straight into my eyes and I into hers...could it be? Yes! It was Leona, the badger my pal Pearly lived with in the Northwest Territories for so many years! She licked my face and suddenly jumped out of my arms and out of view for a few moment. What a relief to find a friendly face after all that had befallen me.
Leona returned with some gifts for me: several grubs, worms, a short tail shrew, two newts and a field mouse. How I wished I was back home with my sausage grinder now! I fashioned a crude mortar and pestle and was about to make some pate when I noticed a flat circular shaped object under one of the newts. Being a trained paranormal investigation theorist, I quickly deduced that since there was no river in the area to create a smooth stone such as this, it must have been left here by some advanced civilization - perhaps from another galaxy!
I put the object in my bag and went back to my gastronomical pursuits. Leona and I had a lovely dinner of pate on tree bark crackers and strained marsh water -deelish! After a tearful goodbye, I headed off with a twofold purpose: to find my way home and discover the source of this strange object I had found.
I wandered through the forest for a while, trying to find some landmark that looked familiar. The whole area I was in seemed strange and unfamiliar. Had I entered a portal of some kind that took me to somewhere far away from Angus Hat? If so, then how did Leona get here? Was she even really a badger? Speaking of which, how much do we really know about badgers? Why do they prefer living underground? Is it because they are in contact with a race of beings who have vast cities under the earth?And what about moles and prairie dogs, groundhogs and woodchucks? When dogs bury bones, are they really burying them or is that simply a ruse to throw us off so that we don't listen in on their secret communications? Why is it that dogs can hear frequencies that we are unable to apprehend? Is that how these superior underground mutants keep in contact? These were my musings as I wandered. I came to another conclusion: It's best to watch where you step. As I was not paying attention to my footing, I fell forward off a small tree covered hillock, causing me to roll downward until my momentum was abruptly stopped by a massive monolithic, pyramid shaped mound!
(to be continued)
7 comments:
Um, it's a nice story. A bit long. But can't we get an update in Lem? And how dud your wife hold out during your ordeal?
Hello. I used to be mean and crazy and yell at people all the time but now I've changed. I am kind and nice and I love everyone, especially Blitz Klappenhammer. I am sorry for all the bad things I've said in blogs all over the world because now I know that being mean is wrong.
Attention, it seems that my good name has been misappropriated and falsified, as evidenced by the fictious note above this present comment. The above comment was NOT written by me, the true John Fastendin.
In this and future postings, you can be assured of my true identity by verifying my LiveJournal entry.
John Fastendin
I am writing this purely in the spirit of uplifting and sharing, as corny and dated as those sentiments may sound in the fast-moving and ever-evolving modern techno-plastic times in which we live.
Primarily, I want to share with you my view that we can justifiably toss most of Blitz's witless bromides onto our bursting bin of unsympathetic Blitz prattle. Even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that it is past time for us to get us out of the hammerlock in which he is holding us. Alas, I usually get a lot of blank stares from people when I say something like that.
What I mean is that Blitz's schemes are continually evolving into more and more sanguinary incarnations. I'm also talking about how I intend to break the spell of great expectations that now binds pathetic yutzes to Blitz. That's the path that I have chosen. It's unquestionably not an easy path, but then again, Blitz should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants every time he wants to.
Let's look at the facts. First, he really needs to lighten up. Second, he is a supporter of everything that was trendy in America in the 1960s—the marvelous effects of LSD and other psychedelic drugs, pyramid power, various oriental religious cults, transcendental meditation, UFOs and extraterrestrials, CIA conspiracies, you name it. And finally, he does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, Blitz discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent.
Long live peace and love.
In answer to your question, "Stone - or coin?", I say stone.
Did you know Wisconsin is the Badger State and, yes, the furry, striped creature is our state animal?
I represent the Badger Genetics Project. I am a DNR grassland community ecologist, and I am writing a funding proposal to study badgers' eating habits and their movements, possibly by setting up video and trail cameras, using tracking stations that capture their claw prints and someday perhaps affixing radio transmitters to some of the animals. Except for nursing mothers, badgers typically stay in a burrow for a few days at most before moving on and digging another den.
We are encouraging people who see burrows, especially ones badgers still call home, to contact us so we can set up hair snares - in effect, allowing them to comb through the badgers' hair for genetic material.
Mr. Krutthammer, please consider sending us your research so we may include it in our findings. And if you're ever in Wisconsin, please stop by for a rootbeer float, the state beverage.
Join us!
We are members of the Alberta Speleological Society and we love caves too! I don't know if Angus Hat is near Alberta, but in your travels, perhaps you can mosey on down.
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