As I regained consciousness after that night of March 6th, I realized I was being pulled along the ground. I quickly found out that this was not the case - I was actually sliding down hill and ended up in the water.
I was standing knee deep in one of the Honeymoon lakes at dawn, wondering why I was so far from home. I still had my trusty PIT bag so survival would not be a problem (Sausage and Pemmican take a long time to digest) but I had to find my way back and figure out who that dark hairy being was that I had seen behind the trees on my Sasquatch watch! I fashioned a hiking stick/quarterstaff/wizard's shillelagh out of a spruce sapling and began my journey walking towards the sun, as I assumed it would get warmer the closer I got. As I slogged along in the marsh I looked for clues of any kind of paranormal activity since I AM a paranormal investigation theorist. It was hard to find footprints in water so I decided to look for tell-tale hairs or skin caught in twigs and branches.
As I continued towards the sun I noticed that there were no signs of civilization anywhere; I was a man alone in the wilderness - or so I thought! I had not noticed that there was something following my every move, stopping when I stopped, starting when I started. A pall of fear began to shroud my thoughts and envelope my mind. Was I being followed? And if so, who or what? Did they have transportation? Food?As a trained paranormal investigation theorist I had to quickly analyze the facts before me and arrive at a sensible conclusion. My conclusion was to run. I ran as hard as I could considering I was knee deep in a marsh. Progress was slow but I managed to get up to higher ground, which I've learned gives you the upper hand in every situation. I still sensed a dark presence at my heels so I picked up my pace and ran right into a tree! I picked my self up quickly and kept running, feeling the darkness almost overtaking me.
I suddenly felt the angle of the ground change and realized I was going downhill at an almost uncontrollable speed. I was approaching a mound up ahead with what seemed to be a large black spot at the bottom - it was a cave! I began to zigzag in a serpentine fashion, hoping to misdirect my pursuer but he/she/it wasn't buying my trickery. My only hope seemed to be a headfirst jump into the mouth of the cave - so I went for it, holding my PIT bag to my face so I wouldn't hurt myself too much.
To be continued.
5 comments:
OK,I admit it. I know surprisingly little about Blitz. I know nothing about his background or lineage. I do not know where Blitz was educated or what he has done besides suppress all news that portrays him in a bad light.
Nevertheless, I can tell you all that you need to know about him. To get right down to it, I undeniably hope you're not being misled by the "new Blitz". Only his methods and tactics have changed. Blitz's goal is still the same: to promote, foster, and institute deconstructionism (in a Sasquatchian sense), and has the gall to even aim it at the very young.
Kind reader, I implore you... don't trust him! He's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, he'll emphasize the negative in our lives instead of accentuating the positive. Not only that, but Blitz is off his rocker. I'll say that again, but in different words, because I want it to sink in: Militarism revolves in a fixed orbit around all of Blitz's morbid, shiftless stratagems.
Sadly, it's the rare person indeed who realizes that while Blitz has been beating the drums of tribalism, I've been trying to give the needy a helping hand (as opposed to an elbow in the face). In doing so, I've learned that he doesn't care whose lives he destroys while he enriches himself in a beer-guzzling display of gluttony and venal avarice. There's nothing controversial about that view. It's a fact, pure and simple.
While it's true that Blitz worships his own ignorance, he has yet to acknowledge that fact. He craves more power. And I, for one, say that we should give Blitz more power!! Would 10,000 volts suffice, Blitz? If he thinks that he is a voice of probity then maybe he should lay off the wacky tobacky. We must show Blitz that we are not powerless pedestrians on the asphalt of life.
Oh, and guess what? I've managed to come up with a way in which Blitz's essays could be made useful. His essays could be used by the instructors of college courses as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least 20 errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that Blitz accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is Blitz. And his malcontent cronies, of course.
As I've said in the passing this week (to the Duchess), Blitz does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, he discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent. I never intend to offend anyone, Blitz included. Alas, the following statement may upset a few people: In Blitz's writing, words and meaning have almost parted company. Some people squirm a bit when they they read things like that, but such statements are the key to explaining why Blitz hates people who study the problem and recommend corrective action. He wants such people nabbed, grabbed, and thrown out of the country. The only way out of Blitz's rat maze is to expose his malversation. It's that simple.
To those of you who know better, I hope you have a wonderful day!!! Get out and enjoy the weather, because it's the only weather you have.
I am a field investigator for The Centre for Fortean Zoology, as well as the Gulf Coast Bigfoot Research Organization. In addition to two episodes of Monster Quest, I have appeared on the television series Legend Hunters, as well as numerous radio and Internet programs. My credits include being a guest on Ireland’s Newstalk Radio, as well as being featured in articles by the Tampa Tribune, Amarillo Edge and Brownsville Herald. I have written a self-published book titled Monsters are Real! as well as penning articles for Animals and Men, The Journal of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club and Bigfoot Times. I have lectured at the Southern Crypto Conference and GhostTech Con and have exhibited at conferences in Texas, Washington State and Massachusetts.
I believe my credentials speak for themselves. I find Mr. Krutthammer's adventures utterly captivating and would consider interviewing him for an upcoming project.
Mr. Blitz,
Your stories are giving me a heart attack! Very suspenseful and exciting. This is better than anything on television including Cupcake Wars.
Hi Blitz. First time reader.
I'm fascinated by your concept of footprints on water. Do you think this is really possible? I can see by your blog that this is your life work. Well, keep at it. Eventually your foot will leave a print on the water I hope.
Mr. Blitz,
This is Grandmama P. Jickles. I remember you from before! About your weight loss, you can try baked goods, such as soda bread and moist cakes, that always helps to pack on the pounds! Not that I would know, sonny!! (Oh dear, I can't help give you a funny, can I!)
Now, I want you to keep a low profile after your derring-do the past year. Rest is good for the body. Don't even think about Saskatchewan, ok now?
Oh, and I wouldn't worry too much about the folks here who seem to want to put a bee in your bonnet, with their name-calling and so on. You just pay them no mind.
Rest!
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