My Journey Part 9: Revelation!

The shrieks and howls got louder as I slowly approached. I decided to stop and hide behind a tree for a little while. "No need to just barge in" I thought to myself. I spend a lot of time speaking to myself, come to think of it. To begin with, I like what I have to say and I know it's all coming from a sincere heart and mind. I also know that everything I think has to be true, so I see there being a lot of solace and comfort in it. Another aspect of "self-informing" is that whatever I tell myself has been filtered through years of specialized training as a Paranormal Investigation Theorist! I  I was going to have to bring all of that skill and depth of understanding to my next challenge. 
I tried to recount my notes on Paranormal sounds.

I had collected volumes of data over the last several years while sitting atop the Sasquatch Pole or nestled in the UFO pit outside of Angus Hat. I had no audio recording device so I used the next best thing......

 - my Brain! I began to catalogue the sounds in two ways: by written onomatopoeic sound and by color. Sounds like "Boeirumnudst!", an obvious Sasquatch mating call, would have a color reflecting the emotion next to it. Here's an example of the over 22,000 sounds I've recorded: 

Unfortunately I had no access to these precious files, so I had to stir up my memory to hear any possible matches with previously recorded sounds. I tried not to breathe in order to pick up every nuance possible; I picked up a call that sounded like "Biermay, biermay! before I started to black out. I quickly began breathing again, avoiding a nasty fall in the brush. The sound returned -"Biermay, biermay!" It sounded almost human, but that's how Sasquatches fool us. They are obviously wonderful mimics!  Many's the time I think I'm sneaking up on a tribe of Sasquatches, only to find some of the local boys sitting around the campfire trading imaginary war stories. Those creatures really know how to throw their voices! 

I knew that this time I had the drop on the Sasquatches; they would never suspect a human, particularly a trained Paranormal Investigation Theorist like myself,  to be so far away from the comforts of civilization. Also, I hadn't bathed in quite a while, was covered in marsh mud and frog dung and had rubbed my hair with pine sap, so there was no way they could pick up my scent. 

I noticed a light in a clearing up ahead, obscured by the bushes and trees before me. The light was not constant but flickered wildly. I have read reports of Sasquatches being linked to extraterrestrial visitations, which I think is a lot of hogwash. It's obvious from the evidence that Sasquatches are earth creatures. The have advanced civilizations and live under the earth in giant caverns where they build wheel-less vehicles and other infernal contraptions. It's plainly evident that they developed a type of light energy for work and travel under the earth - the main reason we don't see too many of them is because they only come up out of their lairs to hunt for berries or to relieve themselves.

Perhaps I had stumbled upon one of their surface hatches! With luck I could catch one trying to get back under and while it was about to batten the hatch I'd knock it out and be able to go into their netherworld where I could sketch up a storm with my trusty crayons! I prepared my crudely fashioned club and sallied forth out of the brush and into the clearing. What awaited me shocked my socks off:

There sat four humans around a fire - drinking Beer!!

(to be continued)